Before You Book A Session Be Sure You're Ready
Clients who describe themselves as first-timers have a very high flake rate. If a Mistress takes time to travel to Her Chambers and make myself all pretty just for you and you never show up She will not be happy. It’s likely that She would have turned away several other clients who wanted your slot therefore She will be out of pocket with several other disappointed clients wishing they could have been you.
If start to have pre session jitters let your Mistress know She will either reassure you on the phone, sit with you before the session and help to calm you, or tell you to re-book when you are feeling more confident. Whatever the outcome it’s likely that this approach will ensure you leave the door open for a future bookings rather than offend and upset Her by standing Her up.
It’s worth noting now that despite a Mistress being dominant and dishing out pain and or humiliation this will only actually happen if this is what you have asked for. A Mistress is mostly working from your list of requirements; hopes and desires so you will not be forced into anything you really don’t want. It’s in Her best interest to make the session as enjoyable as possible so you re-book in the future.
Read My Website First And Pay Attention
Before you contact a Mistress to ask if she is looking for a personal slave, look at her website. Is she actively soliciting personal slaves? If she’s not, don’t bother asking.
When someone contacts me asking to be my personal slave, this usually translates too: ‘can you work for free?’ The answer is always no. I have hot guys I play with in my personal life and I don’t need you. I don’t care how helpful you think you are. If I don’t know you I don’t want you cleaning my apartment or running my errands. The fact that you are contacting a pro for free play says that you are much too stupid to be trusted with any important tasks.
I accept personal slaves from among clients who see me regularly. Even then I’m very picky and they are still expected to pay for play. Many Mistresses have no interest whatsoever in having personal slaves.
If you want to become a personal slave and you don’t want to pay for play, you have options:
• Contact someone who is actively looking for personal slaves.
• Become active in the BDSM scene and try to attract non-professional dominant women.
• See if your partner is interested in exploring BDSM with you.
All these options are more effective than contacting a professional and asking her to do her job without pay.
Booking A Session
When you contact a Mistress, she will want to know what your interests are and when you want to session have this information ready.
She will have a booking procedure. This may include collecting deposits, confirmation by call, text or email at certain times. Respect these as they have been put in place for a reason.
The correct thing to say when she picks up the phone: “Hi, my name is ——-. I saw your website on ——-. “
If you send me an e-mail or text that just says “hi” the chances of me responding are low, and if I do get bored enough to respond I already think you’re an idiot.
Mistresses are accustomed to being treated with respect. Do not ever call a Mistress “babe” or “sweetie.” Be polite and respectful. If you are not sure on how to address Her just ask.
Never ask for reduced rates or time slots. You will come across cheap and tacky.
Never, ever, ever argue with her stated boundaries. If she tells you she doesn’t do something, don’t beg her to make an exception. Boundary-pushing is a huge red flag and also delusional on your part.
Answer Her questions and follow Her instructions
Every Mistress has a booking procedure, a list of questions they need answered and some instructions on what you have to do next. Respect these as they have been put in place for a reason and do not think you will be an exception to these rules.
She May Ask For The Following
Make a deposit
I am a Mistress who requires a deposit. I have spent too many hours preparing for sessions only to be stood up. I do understand why clients are wary of Mistresses who demand deposits. However it has been a very good way to filter out those disrespectful idiots who are too rude to pick up the phone to cancel. A Mistress is unlikely to take your deposit and run. She won’t be interested that She will get to know your name. She is equally handing over some of Her personal details too and won’t jeopardise Her reputation for your small deposit.
Confirm by call, text or email
Those Mistresses who brave seeing a first timer without a deposit will require some kind of confirmation. Always ensure you do this at Her specified times. Even if you are in doubt that you can attend keep your Mistress informed She won’t be upset if She knows the situation. Stuff happens to all of us
Don’t ignore Her texts, call and emails.
We are fully aware that most of you do not want to be contacted by a Mistress out of the blue. We know you have families and business associates and we will be very discreet. But if you have made an appointment to see Her and you don’t make your confirmation call/text She is within Her rights to keep contacting you until you let Her know you no longer want your appointment.
She is trying to conduct Her business.
Remember that she talks to Prospective Clients all day And Some Of Them Are Dicks.
One of the most irritating parts of my job is screening clients. All pro-dommes get contacted by time-wasters, fakes and flakes trying to trick us into free phone sessions. Just because you are stupid enough to attempt this doesn’t mean we are too stupid to fall for it.
Don’t fear your session
Most Mistresses offer a range of services to suit most men’s desires and fantasies. Most Mistresses work hard to ensure they fulfill a man’s fantasy, they also know that not all clients are submissive, want to be tied up and beaten. If you are not submissive and have certain less painful fetish just say.
If you are e-mailing her, be thorough and use good grammar
On the phone, the Mistress can ask you questions and you can give her answers. This can still happen via e-mail, but generally takes a bit more time. Try to be as thorough as possible in your introductory e-mail. Tell her a bit about your fantasies and let her know when you’d like to session. Also include any questions you may have. It’s fine if you forget one or two and have to send her an e-mail later. It’s annoying if you send her eight questions one question at a time.
If you want a response be worthy of one. Also, he included none of the necessary information and asked no questions, which in my experience means he’s not serious. I’m not responding to that.
Also important: if you are trying to make a good impression, good grammar and spelling are important. Many Mistresses will not respond to poorly spelled e-mails. We’re snobs like that. However, we also understand that some clients may not speak English as a first language, so please note if that’s the case.
Don’t book a session just to be polite, then cancel by text.
If you are talking to a Mistress and realise you are too nervous / She is too expensive / She doesn’t provide the services you are looking for/ you can’t travel to Her destination don’t feel obligated to book a session just to get off the phone. Thank her for her time and say goodbye.
If you later have money / are less nervous / develop interests that She caters to, She will probably refuse to see you if you have flaked on her in the past. She may also share your number with other Mistresses to make sure you don’t waste their time, either.
Sometimes We Don't Pickup
Sometimes Mistresses can’t answer their phones. They might in be session, on the subway, with family. They might be taking the day off. Leave a message and stipulate if you can be called back. Some Mistresses don’t accept texts I do so send one and I will get back you. If you are concerned the Mistress may call you when you are with family just state that you don’t want a call back. A Mistress will always respect this.
We Know You're Excited
There’s no need to send a dozen texts or emails about how excited you are. Stay calm and prepare for your session.
Cancelling And Confirming
If you have to cancel, don’t be a dick
So you booked a session and now you’re petrified / stuck in a meeting / remembering your mother’s birthday. It’s okay. Contact the Mistress as soon as you possibly can to let her know. If she has given you a confirmation time, cancel before then.
She may have turned down other sessions in order to hold the time for you, She may have already spent time preparing for your session, Be apologetic. A gift off her wishlist or some money in her bank account will ensure that she is willing to give you another chance.
Did you know that you can e-mail gift certificates? You can. If she doesn’t have a Paypal or a wishlist this is a good option.
Not confirming is not the same as cancelling
If you decide you can’t do the session after all, don’t just skip your confirmation call. That’s rude! When clients fail to confirm and not show I and many more Mistresses could put your contact details on ‘The National Time Wasters List’ Many of us consult list to check whether you are a time waster or dangerous. If you end up on this list other Mistresses are likely to refuse to see you.
Arriving For Your Appointment
If you are ask to confirm do it on time
Stuff happens. Five minutes off is fine, although I’m always pleased when clients confirm on the dot. Don’t confirm excessively early. Definitely don’t confirm late, as your Mistress may make other plans. She may also need a certain amount of travel time, and if you confirm late your session can be delayed.
Stuff happens to us, too
If you don’t get an immediate response to your confirmation, don’t freak. After speaking to you I may have booked another session that makes me unavailable to answer immediately. How would you like it if I stopped spanking you mid-session to answer a confirmation call with someone else?
Don’t be late
Show up on time, plan for traffic and parking. If you’re running late, contact the Mistress and let her know. Otherwise she’ll be left sitting around wondering if you’re a flake.
If she has sessions booked back to back, your session may be cut short and it will be all your fault. If you show up ten minutes late, you may have to have a fifty-minute session rather than an hour session, and she is within her rights to charge you the same price.
Don’t be early
She may be in session with someone else, she may be getting ready or she may still be en route. The room she booked for your session may not be ready yet.
A few minutes early is usually harmless. Ten minutes early is rude.
If you’re running ahead of schedule it is acceptable to contact her and ask if you can come in a little early. Sometimes this is okay, or even preferable. Never show up early without permission.
Don’t be smelly
Shower and wear deodorant. No Mistress wants to put a smelly slave over her lap for a spanking.
Don’t be grabby. She’ll give you a warning if you get too handsy – respect it.
Don’t spend the entire session begging her to take off her clothes if she has already told you that she will not take off her clothes. Clients who ignore boundaries are creepy and make us feel unsafe. If you make your Mistress feel unsafe, she will kick you out with no refund and you will deserve it. Don’t be that asshole.
Show your appreciation
If you had an awesome time, let her know. Good Mistresses take a great deal of pride in their work. I love it when clients compliment my skills after a session and tell me what parts they enjoyed the most.
A thank-you text or e-mail is very much appreciated. Even better still a testimonial of which I can put on my website
Exploring BDSM with professional Mistresses can be an incredibly fascinating and rewarding experience. Hopefully this guide has helped you relax and taught you something new about how to approach pro-dommes. Most important is to treat Mistresses with the same respect you do everyone else.
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